London Eurovision – our awards

Hey! WHO took my bottle of vodka? I have only had one this evening!
Yeah, yeah, we know, it’s been TWO whole days since the Eurovision party in London. But like certain Cypriots we needed a while to unwind. And first things first, we have been  super busy trying to translate all the stories Polish media keep writing about us. It sure is awesome to be noticed in a country so huge it would consider our proud capital a little farm village.

Didn’t forget our duties, though. Here are the awards of the GEE jury:

Funkiest woman onstage: Bulgaria’s Poli Genova. What a fabulous gal she is! We are shaving off half our hair and joining her fan club any minute now.

Best performance: France’s Amir. Singing Golden boy. Can we please get that in EuroClub too, hon? Seven a day keeps the blues away – and the GEE girls your biggest fans for life.

Safest sign the Eurovision artists are in a new city? Poland has a new jacket!
Best jacket: Poland’s Michal Szpak, this time manifesting a deity in a red leather vest. They must have an endless selection of fabulous jackets in Warzav. We are hereby rebooking our flight tickets to go via Poland on our way to Stockholm.

Best appearance: Sweden’s Frans. It was so good to finally see him without that grumpy chick from the music video. And who knew he would be such a fun live artist? Maybe he didn’t take those tips from Måns Zelmerlöv after all? Good call.

The not exactly great appearance: Cyprus’ Francois Micheletto. Two things we need to talk about there, hon. One: Just because Belarus made wolves trendy all of a sudden doesn’t mean it is a good idea to try and become one. Quit howling in the middle of your song, please. It is not even full moon. And two: Do not give any more interviews before you get yourself a publicist, which should have happened yesterday. Trust us. We only want good things to happen to you.

Best ‘oh no, not her again’: Spain’s Barei. That chick is everywhere. Luckily, so aren’t we. Let’s say yay to that.

Won’t you look at this! A woman grew out of our tree!
Best move: Poland’s Michal Szpak, taking a selfie from the stage after his performance. Hope he shows up in Great Britain’s backdrop this year, which is the best thing that could ever happen to that entry.

Worst fashion crisis: Croatia’s Nina Kraljić. Her luggage must have been lost at Heathrow, as she decided to dress herself in The Whomping Willow. Not a good decision.

Best confession of the fact that he doesn’t really want to be there, but kinda has to, since it is his last shot at not disappearing completely from the limelight: Ireland’s Nicky Byrne, opening by mumbling ‘okay, let’s do this’.

Best comfort we could ever get: Greece 2012’s Eleftheria Eleftheriou, showing up on stage only to remind us that Greece was once a great Eurovision nation. Now only Eleftheria and a trampoline can save them.

(All pictures from Tomodo Photography/Eurovision London)


  1. Are you trying to translate what Polish media was writing about GEE? Well, I can tell you they’re falling in love with you all after your statement about Michal: “What on EARTH did they put in that guy’s water?” is epic!

  2. “They must have an endless selection of fabulous jackets in St. Petersburg. We are hereby rebooking our flight tickets to go via Russia on our way to Stockholm.”

    Did you mean to write Warsaw and Poland? 🙂

  3. Before “Belarus made wolves trendy” Cyprus had a song about howling at the moon )if you listen closely to the lyrics), thus Francesco can howl however much he pleases 🙂

    1. Ok, honey. Just to make things clear and before you break down completely: We know that St. Petersburg is in Russia, and we did go to Warzaw a few times and know that is in Poland. We just thought Michal lived in St Petersburg for some reason we cannot remember on a late Friday evening?

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