So, in true Norwegian style we did not show up in Amsterdam. We were really sad to not experience all the fabulousness that went on in Melkweg, but lucky to have good friends like Schlagerboys and ESCKAZ that shared so perfectly we almost felt like we were there anyway. A big thank you to them and here are our high- and not-so-highlights of the evening:
Most underrated performance by others:
Montenegro. We are seriously impressed that Highway even bothered showing up, knowing the hardcore fans do not exactly favour their music style and can be less than welcoming. But they just have to live with that for a while longer, because with voices like theirs, they are bound to please quite a few voters. And us, which is most important, of course. Also, you have to love a band with two vocalists.
Most surprising performance:
Greta from Iceland, starting off with a beautiful violin solo and following up with a great crowdpleaser of a schlager. Good thing Iceland has a few millions reserved for hosting an international final in a bank account in Panama.
Jamala from Ukraine. We are completely speechless. Man, we hope Putin never watches this and stops the whole thing before it reaches Stockholm.
Most impressive moves:
Estonia. We counted three smiles from Jüri during his performance, which is three more than we ever dared to hope for. Keep it up and we’ll have a new Estonian record in public showing of emotion by May.
Less impressive moves:
France. While Amir still sings great and looks pretty and all that, we have some concerns regarding the fact that his moves remind us of ourselves performing a late night karaoke. We can assure you that is not good news for someone about to hit the big stage in Globen in May. Someone please fix this, fast. We’re freaking out over here.
Best dressed of the evening:
The cellist from Bosnia & Herzegovina. Half a cello and half a top makes one whole outfit. Less is more over there, that’s for sure.
Best press pleaser:
Antonis from Cyprus, undressing on stage during the press conference. We know Minus One can do even better, so please practice that move for Stockholm, as the press conferences tend to be a bore and we need all the entertainment we can get.
Most annoying press question:
Almost every single journalist telling France‘s Amir he is a dentist. In a contest where we regularly have singing health personnel, that’s hardly a shocka, and being a grown up, we think Amir is capable of keeping track of his own education. Plus we all know his CV in details now. Move on.
Most annoying person on stage, period:
Israel‘s Hovi Star. Listen, honey, we get that you are out of the closet. Congrats. No need to act on the clichés.
Malta‘s Ira Losco, not walking on either of the glorious channels of Amsterdam. She should practice a bit of that “show, don’t tell” for Stockholm. Plenty of water there as well.
Most predicted disappointment:
Hungary‘s Freddie not being there. We mean, what is up with him these days? We thought he had such a fine framework, with a great song and all, but then he went MIA on us? Can someone file a missing persons report please?
Most embarrasing moment:
Belarus‘ Ivan, trying to get the audience to howl like wolves. Which they did not. Note to Ivan: do not try this in Stockholm.
Most lost performer:
Norway‘s Agnete, that “accidentally” got a plane ticket for Timbuktu instead of Amsterdam and was completely lost. Not really impressed by the Norwegian delegation trying to keep it a secret, either, as if that would work in a room full of hardcore fans. Just waiting for Agnete’s video now. Should be ready for the 17th of May.
Best ‘meet me in Stockholm, baby, we’ll mess around’:
Netherlands. We cannot wait for Douwe Bob to open his own bar in downtown Stockholm. You know where to find us all those late nights in May.
Best leather jacket:
Poland. By far. Even though the best leather jacket competition is very hard this year, there’s nothing that beats a GOLDEN one. We now have at least 20 reasons to love Poland. And that should teach France, Cyprus and Latvia to up their game.
Most likely to have a few regrets the next morning:
The Lithunaian girl who broadcasted the whole show on Periscope to a couple of thousand viewers forgetting that they could all hear her raving in between the acts about how she was going to sleep with the performers. We do not envy her her hangover. But we sincerely do thank her for the entertainment.