10 reasons why we don’t love Malta this year

Ok, so Malta sends their Ira Losco again. Uncongratulations on this:

There are mainly 10 reasons why we don’t love Ira Losco’s entry:

  1. She is not Daniel Testa
  2. She is not from within the Micallef family
  3. She cannot do a proper job in the emergency room
  4. She would never have a song written to her by Alexander Rybak
  5. She is trying to sound like Celine Dion, which clearly she doesn’t
  6. She is trying to walk on water and be Jesus, which clearly she isn’t
  7. We cannot finish her song without suffering from major headaches half way through
  8. …And when we are finally finished, we cannot rememeber anything of the song at all
  9. There are horrendous drum machines taken directly from the Swedish scrap pile
  10. And her pink dress looks like it could belong to Elsa in Frozen, only that her sister Anne tore it up out of pure madness because the ice melted

Malta has such huge potential, really, their national finals always being a gold mine of great musicians with fab entries. We cannot for the sake of their holy Eurovision spirit understand why they bother with this lady. She is boring, generic and pretentious with absolutely zero of that little extra. Enough said.

We say a painful good night to our favorite island and hope for the best for Malta Eurovision Song Contest elfejn u sbatax!

When Ira Losco heard they had hair driers in Stockholm, she quickly submitted fifty entries for MESC. Pic by Allen Venables
When Ira Losco heard they had hair driers in Stockholm, she quickly submitted fifty entries for MESC. Pic by Allen Venables


  1. This feels like pure jealousy! Trying to be hilarious by ridiculing Ira when you’re purely a failure.

    1. Absolutely. We didn’t even reach the national finals of UK with our squealing voices

  2. I’m against this year’s Eurovision because in my opinion it was unfair in many ways but this is way tooooo much. Who is against can just not watch it and not break people with nonsense comments. Come on, try to be the bigger man without ridiculing others to say the least.

  3. I thought it would be one of those blog posts where the content is totally the opposite of the title. Thank heavens Ira would never collaborate with Rybak, and why you would think she’s sounding like Celine Dion is beyond me. Drum and bass was also not invented in Sweden. I think you should go and pop a Renitadine in your mouth as your heartburn is making you grumpy.

    1. The Rybak comment is due to the fact that he wrote a song for Franklin a few years ago, which we did love. Can you ask Gianluca to write us a prescription, maybe?

  4. Sorry, peeps. We get that you love your country. But mind you, so do we. We have even been to Malta to see the national finals and we have supported you strongly before. But make no mistake: We are the first to admit Norway is not great this year, and we have to admit (for your eyes only), nothing would make us more happy than Malta winning Eurovision would be a dream come through for us, That’s why we were so disappointed with Ira. Please prove us wrong, though!

  5. Everything you say is spot on, the Maltese unfortunately voted for her because it’s Ira, many idolize her . Very bland and mediocre as usual.

  6. @Goodeveningeurope I’m never really keen on our country’s entry. This year I love it because its modern and catchy and charts material. I cannot stop listening to it. You’ll never catch me listening to Rybak or Celine Dion, because they are dated and I like my songs with a beat; or to some of the generic crap that enters Eurovision every year (the Russian favourite a prime example). Your opinion is just that, an opinion.

  7. Ah i soo love your blog posts! Always make me smile.
    I am not sure you follow ira in the local scene.but she is a brilliant artist and her usual songs are uk top chart material, then comes the esc, and we bring out the worst possible song! I just cannot figure out how we cannot choose a song that is 2016 relevant and send it on eurovision.
    The fact people wrote all these defensive comments above me shows how blindsighted some people are.

    Keep it up ladies, hope your ‘lil Daniel wins before he turns 30 πŸ˜‰ though we must admit , this year wasn’t his best. Looking forward to reading your comments about the other entries!

    1. Thank you, hon! You make us smile too. We know Ira is huge and have had the pleasure of seeing her live at the MESC finals. She should have had a better song for sure.

      We also hope Daniel wins a wee bit before he 30, as we’ll probably be hitting 50 by then and that makes it not so fun for him to meet us in Euro Club anymore!

  8. It seemed like Ira was going to win the NF regardless of what song she entered, so what Malta really should have done was have a special Ira MESC. Just have her singing a dozen different songs, with the public voting for the best song – like Germany ’11.

    That way we wouldn’t have ended up with the situation we have now, where they realised “Chameleon” wasn’t good enough and had to hastily come up with a replacement that isn’t as good as it could have been.

    BTW, if you ever criticise a Maltese artist, the entire island will come down on you because you’ve attacked their friend’s neighbour’s hairdresser’s cousin and that’s personal.

    1. We kind of noticed. We feel like we have made up for it with earlier appraisal, though, and most certainly will get back to that again.

      We’re still trying to find out how thousands of Maltese found our blog tonight, btw. Any idea? Did we make news headlines?

      1. In Malta we have a popular facebook group for eurovision fans and your article was posted on there. Can you please clarify on whether this article is sarcasm or do you really dislike Ira? As we live in different countries our humor styles are different so we are a bit confused πŸ˜€ In Malta it is common to be sarcastic about liking things so some of us thought that you were obviously joking when we read the article but others think that you are serious. An example of a funny sarcastic article that is actually promoting the island is this one: http://www.elenastravelgram.com/2015/05/visit-malta.html

        1. Ah, which group? We don’t particularly like Ira, sorry, but we sometimes exaggerate for the sake of entertainment in this blog, and it should be read with that in mind. Guess you could call it sarcasm.

          1. Ok, thanks for clarifying, We respect your opinion as everyone has different taste in music. Ira is a very nice and humble lady and all of Malta is supporting her and hoping for her to do well. So hopefully we will prove you wrong in the contest! πŸ™‚
            The group is closed so I do not think that you will be able to see where it was posted (and after you said all those mean things about our singer I don’t think that they are going to let you in lol ) πŸ˜€

          2. We’re sure she is. We have met her and have a good impression. Sadly that doesn’t make her song any better in our opinion. You’re of course welcome to feel otherwise. The various taste of the fans is what makes this contest so great!

          3. oh so this is why you have totally exaggerated because you do not like Ira, not because what you said made any sense at all., not that we thought otherwise. Your post was posted on our facebook page called Eurobitchin, where we chat and mingle,however to do that you need to show who you are for starters., so you cannot hide behind a bogus name, and then be ready for replies to your opinions especially if they are anything like what we have read above

          4. We are Guri and Astrid, it is stated in our bio on this page. We are happy that our post was shared and discussed and of course respect that you don’t agree!

  9. Your opinion or your trying to be funny like the late terry wogan and failing miserably. As it’s not a fashion show we do not vote in this contest according to fashion so another stupid opinion especially coming from a country who gets most votes from neighbours out of favouritism rather than talent. Just saying

    1. Ok. It is noted. Have to say we are much more often positive to Malta than to our own country. We totally agree that many of our entries are crap and that neighbour voting is annoying!

  10. Just wasted 10 minutes of my life reading this… and another minute writing this… just telling myself, “why bother?!” …. sounds like sour grapes!

  11. All these Maltese are attacking you. Can’t understand why. Its your opinion…you don’t like the song and the singer. I am Maltese and I too don’t like Ira nor her song. I think she wont go not even close to winning.

  12. Brilliant article. Just what some Maltese need – we take ourselves far too seriously, you’d think we’re up for winning a nobel prize here for goodness sake!

    For the record – I’m Maltese, a music aficionado with many years of study behind me (though not a Eurovision one), and a communications specialist. The chords of this song are confusing to say the least, as is the rhythm it keeps – I sympathise with your headache comment. What was worse in my opinion was the obvious script Ira, her manager and PBS’ chairman were reading from when they tried to spin the change of song (not that I care) in the lead up to its reveal..

    On a final note – brilliant comebacks to the comments being left here – social media lesson to be learnt by those who don’t think the world revolves around this tiny rock we call home.

  13. Thanks! We see that we upset quite a few people and are sorry for that. Our blog is indeed opinionated and hits hard sometime, so we accept that people talk back. It is why we love Eurovision: There are so many fans with strong feelings and we all have different favorite. Ours has often been Maltese ones, and we have supported Firelight and Gianluca strongly before. This time, it’s different, but we’re sure we’ll get back to you.

  14. You’re jealous. She’s beautiful and can sing. So there! Leave her alone. And we Maltese are great at self mockery. Ok?

    1. What’s up with these jealousy comments? Not exactly charming. Question: would you say the same to a male writer discussing a male artist?

  15. I totally agree with everything you say and I’m maltese guri and Astrid. Maltese had to vote for song not artist. Keep up this page!

  16. And yet again the art of satire and sarcasm is completely lost on the Maltese with immediate defensiveness taking over. Even in “Good Evening Europe’s” retorts one can cut through the satire it’s so thick (unlike the skin of most of us Maltese).

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