Semi final 1: Highligts and downlights

Yay! The finals are OnOnOn and we already picked our first 10 finalists for Saturday! What a fabulous show! What a fabulous stage! What a fabulous audience! And WHAT a FABULOUS Conchita!

Good Evening Europe! Oh, crap maybe it wasn’t such a good idea after all to buy our outfits in that factory outlet outside Klagenfurt

Didn’t catch the show? Or did you miss something? Here is what you should have noticed in each entry:

Moldova: Wow, the police in Moldova can’t afford much clothing. But they are really good at climbing. Such a shame we won’t be seeing THAT again. SENT HOME

Armenia: Cannot say we are happy to be seing this again. Lucky they have one of the most handsome men on the stage. Because everything else is horrendous. We suggest the possibility of giving minus points for super groups. FINALIST

Belgium: How fabulous! We have three theories on what rapapap means in Flemmish. Either a)Hello, my name is Justin Bieber or b)I am hungry, can you please pass the waffles? or, most likely, c)What the fuck am I doing here when there is a party at my high school? FINALIST

Is there a doctor in the arena? We repeat, we need a doctor ASAP! Loïc Nottet had to lie down for a bit when he found out that his favorite Eurovision bloggers from Norway had given him a raving review.

The Netherlands: Wow, that outfit? Looks like she put on a suit tailored to fit the need for jumping  off the plane on the way to Denmark and flying the rest of the way herself. SENT HOME

Finland: They are really adorable, but we’re sorry. Screaming is still…screaming. SENT HOME

Greece: Now there is the final confirmation for you: Wind machines cannot save everything. But we have to suffer through it again, of course. FINALIST

Estonia: Quick tip for Saturday: If you are to sing a song together about “you and I”, acknowledging each other on the same stage might be a good idea. FINALIST

F.Y.R.O. Macedonia: Another tip, that’s rather useless now: If you are in a competition with someone who calls himself the golden boy, you shouldn’t put all your money on golden shoes. SENT HOME

Serbia: Wow, this is so fab in every way! Best matching of dress and headpiece. Best key change. Best change of clothing on dancers. What joy! FINALIST

Hungary: Didn’t see this one. Went to the bathroom. Is the war still on? FINALIST

Boggie reminds us of our sloggies hidden in the back our undies drawer. Safe and reliable, but oh so very boring.

Belarus: Great effort, disappointing earrings. We didn’t really mean what we said in our reviews, you know, hon. Bring back the diamonds! We also miss other props here. Where is the trampoline when you need it? SENT HOME

Russia: This totally crashed with a shaking vocalist that sounded terrible on TV. We bet they will blame the gay flags. But we love the frock, of course. FINALIST

Denmark: They are anti social media. So why should social media make any comment? SENT HOME

Albania: Just a simple question: Why is she wearing a cape? And why the heck did you vote for it? FINALIST

Romania: Wow, a decent song with decent lyrics in a national language. Who did not explain them the rules and how can we thank them for it? FINALIST

Georgia: Claims to be a feminist. And now we know why people are afraid of those. Also: She should not wear smoky eyes and red lips at the same time. Can’t Georgia afford a gay stylist for the final at least? FINALIST

5 Comments

  • Enrico

    Belgium by far the best performance. Mention of honour for Romania.
    Last, but not least: Nina, Nina, Nina!!!! 😀

    • Belgium soared above all the others yesterday! We knew it was good, but still it blew us away. Happy for Romania making it as well. That Georgian chick scared the living Bejesus out of us. Nice to see that shouting your way into the final actually works!

  • Deborah

    Come on you are being a bit harsh on some of them. 😉 Didn’t you like anything from yesterday?

    I think compared to some previous Eurovisions the songs yesterday were pretty decent – and coutries with usually shitty songs have really come a long way this year… and even singing in English. Eurovision yesterday was really entertaining I think. Stage is amazing!! And at least no silly antics to attract undue attention!

    Anyways…holding our breath for Malta’s warrior next Thursday, even though you broke up with us this year 😉

    • We LOVED Belgium! Serbia was fab and Romania rock solid and touching. The rest were kinda meh, but we’re sure we will learn to love the rest of the finalists before Saturday, that’s usually the way it works for us.

      And we still love you Malta! We will sooner or later beg you guys to take us back!

  • Deborah

    I loved Belgium too. I also loved Greece, Armenia and Russia – even though I really wanted to hate the latter!

    was surprised that some songs made it and others didn’t! But I guess that’s how it always goes!

    Until next Thursday! Can’t wait!! 🙂

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