Seems like Spain bought their song on the Ebay section for outdated hobbies this year. Oh, horror:
Put on something comfortable.Turn off your lights and fire up some discolored candles and the incense you bought at the neighborhood flea market in 1997.
Sit upright with a straight spine, away from the back of the chair. Place your feet flat on the floor, and your arms, palms turned upward, at the joint between your thighs and torso. Close your eyes. Try to forget about the screaming kid next door and yesterday’s party dishes all over your kitchen and pretend that you listen to soft rain instead. Start breathing. Inhale slowly, counting to eight. Hold the breath for eight more counts, then exhale slowly to the same count.
Notice how this soothes your mind and creates a moment of awareness as the incense threaten to drown your senses completely in fake ayurvedic sandalwood, cedar and amber.
Forget about that Ayurveda and start focusing. On the very specific moment in time when you were 12 and hunting down amusement parks by the dozen only to place yourself in the most sickening carousel available. Think of how, as you were sitting there all buckled up, you started to regret this. Remember that moment of realization you get just as the carousel starts moving. That sudden understanding of the fact that you do not really want to be put upside down in an easily breakable device while you feel like throwing up. Also, remember the woman who at the very same moment start screaming in half English and half Spanish that you shall enjoy this ride. That specific woman is who we want you to focus all your energy on now, as she might as well have been Ruth Lorenzo. Do you still smell the incense? Didn’t think so.
Notice how your mind is not soothed anymore. In fact so very far from it that spending some quality time with the dishes in the kitchen seems very tempting and you swear on never meditating away from this life ever again while you desperately search the internet for Jimmy Jump’s phone number. Spain’s entry this year will do that to you. Here’s a big, fat DISLIKE to that.