Queen of Austria rises to heaven

When do you not want an Austrian beauty in your bath tub? Please welcome Conchita:

In the beginning we couldn’t really decide whether it is sad or great that a lady with a full beard looks better than we will ever do without, but we decided on the latter. Two obvious reasons: 1. Conchita is doing a great job in creating acceptance of ladies’ facial hair, which might mean less of our pensions spent in the beauty parlor as we grow older and 2. Conchita is so fabulous nothing related to her can be sad.

We also asked ourselves whether this was a real expression of self or an exploitation of stereotypes in order to win the hearts of queer fans. We were quickly put to shame for even asking. Conchita seems more genuine than most of us in her effort to be the best version of herself. We are only amazed by the amount of integrity Conchita and her male alter ego Tom Neuwirth has shown during the warm ups to this competition. She never fails to provide the right answer when faced with questions of prejudice. She is not hating back, but she is not accepting either. We all have something to learn from that in today’s harsh media reality. Regardless of the result we think Austria’s entry will mean a lot to many this year, but nothing will make us happier than for them to do great next week as few deserve the douze points more than Conchita.

The song in itself is a little bit too much most-dramatic-part-of-a-musical-and-soon-somebody-will-leave-their-lover-and-kill-themselves kind of song. We mean, we keep waiting for Anne Hataway to come running with short, messy hair and throw herself into the ocean while half of the audience cry their proud tears and Oscars are handed out by the dozen. But hey, this is the queen of Austria we’re talking about. Anything less dramatic would have been boring for her, and unlike most previous Eurovision contestants she nails that style.

So here’s a royal toast to Conchita. To the great singing, the decent lyrics and the most fabulous dresses around. But most of all to the effort in reminding us all what Eurovision is and should be about: The ability to be yourself no matter who that person might be and what the masses would prefer. To the acceptance of difference and the rejection of haters. Because haters don’t belong in B&W Hallerne and bearded ladies do.

Conchita says her main goal is to be proud of her performance. For that we can only say: Mission accomplished. After all, 15 000 Russians can only be wrong.


  1. Go Conchita, the haters just don’t want to confess themselves that they love you from the bottom of theirs hearts. Second place for you!

      1. Well, there is the divine right of Italy to be first ?!! I really wait your review of the italian entry ?

  2. We shouldn’t let this act influence us one way or another. The song’s a fossil and Conchita’s image is like a faded picture of a long forgotten diva some kid has painted a beard on out of boredom.

    These year’s top countries IMO are Norway, Armenia, Azerbaijan (at last) Italy and Albania, as usual for me, lol. Not forgetting the Swiss, of course! Poor old sanna finally made it and it’s actually ok. It’s still cheese, but of the good, expensive kind.

    Emmelie the second is probably gonna make it for dreary UK though. The people’s got the power and that’s not always the best thing. We might get the chance to meet the real Queen next year at least xD

    Thank you for yet another wonderfully witty coverage of ESC madness once again. It’s been delightful to hang out with you once more!

    Cheers 😀

    1. Thank you, darling, we have the most fabulous readers as well, so lucky us! And watch out for more madness and LIVE coverage when we jet across the Kattegat next Tuesday!

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