Heartless from the Irish

Ireland must feel a bit miffed by the fact that a bunch of annoyingly cheeky Scandinavians quite blatantly stole the winning recipe last year and got away with it. And by all means, we don’t blame them. As the Danes stormed to victory in Malmø, the Irish were having sour grapes in the green room. But trying to get ahead by making a copy of the copy when you have the original recipe somewhere in the back of your desktop drawer is quite possibly the worst idea ever.

Ireland ended up with one of those songs we never get around to giving a proper review. We keep putting it off to the very last minute and end up forcing ourselves to squeeze out a couple of uninspired paragraphs after first having done every domestic chore we could think of. Well at least we’re getting a spotlessly clean flat out of it.

We’ve had Heartbeat on our Spotify playlist for a while now, and every time it comes on we think it sounds rather pleasant, but we never seem to remember which country it is. And when this is Ireland’s best bet on sounding like something from Ireland, that can’t be a good sign. And no wonder, knowing it’s actually written by a Swede. It makes no sense whatsover, if you ask us. The song seems to go on and on forever, with no hooks, no key change and a complete lack of oomph. Much like Cyprus last year if anyone can even remember them participating. You don’t? Our point exactly.

And where does Can-Linn fit into the picture? Are they aiming for the most invisible band award? And all we can see is being featured in the preview video is Kasey Smith’s luscious lips and fit fanny. We’re sure she will be very proud she went along with that idea when looking back on her Eurovision participation some ten years down the line. Perhaps next year, the Irish can ask someone other than a dirty old sleazebag to shoot the video.

Being in a semi-final with fierce competition we suppose the other countries can only thank Ireland for giving it their worst. Only five entries get eliminated, but we’d be gobsmacked if Eire survives until Saturday. Good riddance. And yawn.

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