MESC 2014 reviews, part 9

Let us tell you about the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees. And Andreana. Thank God for Andreana.

What 70s show?

Alas, long hair, dark voice and slow singing has hit Malta. Some call it great, we call it one of those unwelcomed natural disasters our common global warming seems to be creating these days.

What made all those hippie ladies with flower gowns and an all too familiar “I just got my dose of LSD and must be totally amazing”-look overpopulate the Eurovision stage? And how do we get them off again?

Dee Bee obviously knows how to sing, congratulations. We just wish she spent her time on decent music, rather than on flowers and bees. Those hand moves are seriously scaring the shit out of us. Is she trying to cast some kind of spell? We hope it won’t turn everybody into members of the rainbow family. That just wouldn’t be fair.

Oh, Dee Bee. Please turn your self in to the 70s rehab, quit tripping and move the beat up a little. We sure know you’re able to. AND PUT SOME SHOES ON FOR CHRIST SAKE. Those bare feet will probably pick up Emily’s plantar warts in an instance. Ewwww.

From a dark place

We really want to like Andreana. Seriously, really do. She has a lot going for her. One, she is our age. Actually even older than us, which is seriously uncommon these days, when everyone over 25 is in the deep freezer with Walt Disney until ESC senior is announced. Second, she has lyrics that for once do not sound like a page from the secret diary of a 12 year old. And last, but not least, she has that sharp, don’t-fuck-me-over-look that totally keeps us hanging on.

Moving on to the song. It would sound great in a dark bar somewhere in the background of a cocktail conversation. Sadly, that’s all we remember about the song. That, and her voice being dark, pretty and soothing enough for us to welcome a replay or two.

Given all these facts, we are not sure why we don’t love Andreana. Could be the botox. Many animals died for those sleek cheeks. But could also be the song is just not good enough. Write her a new one for next year, would you?