MESC 2014 reviews, part 6

Whenever in need of partyswedes, fear not! Wherever there’s Eurovision related stuff going on you’re bound to run into a few, Malta notwithstanding. Continuing counting down to MESC, here’s our next couple of reviews.

By golly, she can count!

If there’s one thing we can’t stand it must be gimmick lyrics. In order for it to work it has to be cleverly crafted and prosecuted so the listener buys into the concept instantly without having to play the song twice to actually get it. Third time’s the charm the saying goes, but we don’t think this will work for Corazon in MESC. As she appears to be a popular sweetheart in the public eye on Malta we’re sure she’ll give it a forth try next year. Not that we’ll contemplate much on those prospects while relaxing by the pool in our five star hotel in a week or so. And let’s face it, six entries in the semi-final have to be eliminated. Trying to score a ticket to ESC with a poorer remake of the once upon a time successful 7th wonder strikes us as both odd and frightfully boring. “Outlook not so good” our magic 8 ball tells us. And when it both looks and sounds like the artist just drowned in a bowl of sugar, we just wanna kick and scream and go to a Nine Inch Nails concert instead. And seriously people, who the actual fuck signs up for the Eurovision Song Contest and aim for a 10? Grow some balls girl, and show some real ambitions!!!

Melodifestivalen reject, anyone?

Been searching for reports and updates from Melodifestivalen on our blog lately? Well, look no further! Apparently a couple of Swedish songwriters have been drugged and shanghaied to Malta with a song that otherwise would have ended up on around sixth place in the qualifying heat in Örnsköldsvik. If you ask us the Persson sisters should bless their lucky star for being given in a shot in MESC and getting to spend a few days in the sunny Mediterranean rather than freezing their bums’ off in some godforsaken shit town in Northern Sweden. Being sent to Örnsköldsvik must be some kind of punishment by the way, for coming up with exceptionally mediocre songs, but let’s not digress.

The song is about stalking, we think. And given the theme we do not think Romina looks even remotely potty enough. She looks perfectly mentally balanced, and could just as well have sung about boiling broccoli. We hope she’ll work on her Glenn Close frying pets in the microwave oven look before the semi-final.

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