With the Grand Final only hours away we’re at the press center catching up on the latest gossip and behind the scenes updates. Before we’re off to throw on our finest feathers, we have time to give you a quick run through of tonight’s upcoming show, which might be worthwhile to think about when making up your mind on who to cast your vote for:
The jury final:
Remember that half the votes have already been distributed by the juries who make up their minds after watching last night’s dress rehearsal. This means that stuff that happened last night not known to the TV-viewers might be crucial for the final outcome. As insiders we feel obliged to give you a couple of hints. Most of the artists were vocally fine, except from Spain who sang like a drowning cat. The few points they could have scored with the juries vanished in a flash right there. We’re pretty sure Spain is likely to bag the dreaded nil points tonight. As much as it pains us to tell you, our dear Marco was a bit unlucky during his performance, but that should just give you all the more reason to pick up your phones and vote like maniacs to help him bring the contest back to Italy in 2014. What happened? We need a separate paragraph for that:
There’s no way getting around the fact that not only did Marco grab his crotch once, but twice during his performance during the jury final. What the actual fuck is up with that? no, no, NO, Marco! This is not the time, nor the place for a display of such improper Mediterranean macho behavior. Save that for the after party at Euroclub. Preferably in front of us.
We are very sad the entire Balkan has been completely wiped off the map this year and will truly miss Albania and Montenegro in tonight’s final. We’re also wondering what this carnage may lead to in the voting. Will Balkan vote for Greece, who indeed are playing Balkan ska? Will they crash land on Georgia? Or will the Balkan hipsters vote for Hungary? We don’t know, but this will be truly interesting.
The Nordic Countries:
The Nordic journalists complaining about Eastern European block voting tend to forget two things: Eastern Europe is not one country, but in fact 2/3 of Europe. And there is no one that does more block voting than the Nordic countries, which is not exactly surprising when what all newspapers write about are their own country and Sweden. That’s why it’s not exactly an advantage that all countries are through to the final, cause this will possibly spead out the votes all over the place. Will Norway put Denmark or Iceland on top? Will Sweden give 12 points to Finland? And how will it all add up?
In spite of Denmark’s usual insertion on being the winner, this year’s competition is very open, and the bloggers are going east and west trying to predict a result. That leaves a space or two for some dark horses, we’d say. Maybe the eunuch of Romania will charm the world with his fabulous counter tenor behavior? Or are the hipsters of Europe ready to heat up their pimped iPhones with tons of votes for Hungary´s Bye Alex? Keep your beanies and fangs ready, peepz, this could be dangerous!
In the end, we have to admit we enjoy this competition more when we can focus on our favorites instead of making the correct predictions. We usually get it wrong anyway. It’s hard pick a few when we have lived and breathed with all the fabulous songs and artists nonstop the past couple of weeks, but in the end these are our chosen ones:
- Italia: Marco, Marco, MARCO. We love him. É perfetto. There’s nothing more to add.
- Hungary: We are Byeliebers. ByeAlex is our God. Kedvesem!
- Greece: There’s nothing we need more now than free booze and five hunky men having fun. Say Greece!
And of course we are extremely happy we can cheer for Norway with our integrity intact this year. Margaret is fabulous, we love her dress and we’re sure she will mesmerize Europe. Yay!