All righty then! While most of our fellow Norwegians have spent the day suffocating in too tight bunads, stuffing their face with ice cream and hotdogs, we have been in Malmø Arena to catch the first dress rehearsal before the Grand Final. How very exiting. Squeal!
We can promise you a wicked show, the Swedes certainly know their stuff and you can really tell they have been gagging to transfer Melodifestivalen to a pan European format.
It’s all about the blokes, really. Well for us anyways. By all means we will scream our heads off for our fabulous Margaret, but we’re not really feelin’ it for any of the chicks in the line-up. While Denmark, Ukraine, Russia, Germany and The Netherlands’ leading ladies remains among the favorites, we just can’t see any of them end up actually winning.
So, let’s focus on the treats tomorrow’s Grand Final has in store for you:
- Lituania: Looks like he has been on a week’s drinking binge in the shady parts of Vilnius. We so wish we could have joined him, cause after all that’s rock’n roll and we like it! Sings from the dreaded second position, good for Lituania then since they’ve probably would not afford to host Eurovision next year anyways.
- Belgium: Perhaps the best pop song in the final and Roberto is super cute. We just want to tuck him into our handbags and run away with him. Unfortunately he brought his cougarish dancers from the preview video on stage. Not loving that look for him. After all, we want to be the only women twice his age drooling over him.
- Malta: The adorable singing doctor could perform a full medical check up on us anytime. He’d be welcome to sing while doing it as well. But he should leave the talking to us, or else we will probably fall asleep of boredom, like half the accredited press did when he was on in the press conference yesterday.
- Romania: If being stuck in purgatory is this much fun, we’d better start being even naughtier this very minute. Claims he wants to become Romania’s next Nadia Comaneci. A couple of vaults and you’re nearly there, Cezar!
- Sweden: Even though Robin has a kinda middle aged auntie look going for him, we love his tenaciousness, both when it comes to wailing through his half decent song, and for not giving a tosser about Eric Saade’s petty bashing. Hurrah for the underdog prevailing in the end!
- Hungary: In case you didn’t notice we’ve started a new religion. Join us in the new Byelieber cult where thirty something women gather to obsess over this exquisite specimen of the Hungarian hipster. The song is absolutely fab too!
- Iceland: Prepare for a massive goose bump moment when this humble fisherman from the rugged shores of Iceland gear up for the key change. We question the Thomas G:son look on this bloke though. His lank blonde hair kinda makes him look like a mournful Afghan Hound. And that’s not pushing any of our buttons.
- Azerbaiijan: Okay, okay, OKAY! We admit it. This robust wrestler sets off our eye candy alarm big time. And as usual the Azerbaijanis has yet again outdone themselves in staging a gorgeous performance. Dare we predict a man in a glass box in the Moldovan number next year?
- Greece: We are happy there is an old, boring man on stage with the Greeks for the sake of our mental balance. The rest of them are so ridiculously hot we are already asking around to find out where they spend their weekends outside of Eurovision week. We’re hoping this one will hoover up all the Balkan votes tomorrow night. Opa!
- Italy: Wow. We did come prepared, but who could possibly prepare for this God sent beauty in a sharp, petrolium colored, slimfit suit? We need a minute to calm down, knowing the song is worth noticing as well.
- Ireland: Attention, please. There are two half naked men on stage. Too bad they go all tribal on us, but still. We approve. At least the song is better than UK’s geriatric drivel. And then we suppose the Irish consider the mission accomplished for yet another year.