Sometimes we’re presented with entries so out of the ordinary kitchy it actually moves into another dimension and turns from one of the worst songs in the running to one of our favorites. Remember Georgia last year? It was so horribly vile and yet so fascinatingly weird and strangely catchy. There is at least one entry with these qualities this year as well, but it’s certainly not Belarus.
It ticks off most boxes though in terms of being silly and outdated, have ridiculous lyrics, being supplied with meaningless gimmicks like a semi-intricate clappy choreography and performed by a pretty gal whom we’re assuming will turn up on stage in Malmö half naked in a slutty excuse for a dress and yammer her way through her 3 minute song in the most uninspired and unattractive manner.
Not even Alexander Rybak could lure us into ever setting foot in one of Minsk’s dodgy nightclubs having to listen to second rate Eastern bloc wannabe salsa. There’s just nothing even remotely authentic or appealing with such an artificial setting. The whole thing reeks of inferior complexes and we cannot for the life of us understand this need to belittle yourself by presenting something that does not represent you well, you’re not good at or even seem to enjoy.
Strangely enough this is the same country that two years ago graced us with one of the most patriotic and tasteless songs in the history of Eurovision. We’re simply befuddled by Belarus. They just never seem to get it right.