The miserable Dutchman

We dreamed a dream in time gone by. You know, back in the days when hope was high and life worth living. That one day The Netherlands would enter this competition. And they would rise up. And live out. To the true meaning of its Eurovisional creed. And be extraordinarily brilliant.

Yeah, that’s gonna have to wait ’till next year. In Malmö we will be stuck with Anouk who herself seems to be stuck in Broadway. We mean, what the hell happened here? She’s the lady that gave us Nobody’s wife, everybody’s break up feminism and the world’s best Dutch impression of Alanis Morisette for God’s sake. We used to love her! Do we want her now? No, thank you.

Now Anouk straightened her hair og botoxed her entire collection of face muscles. Don’t you always hate it when rockers do that? No wonder she has to take it slow. She sounds like we did when we were ten years old pretending to be musical stars and making up words and melody along the way. A few questions that certainly come to our minds: Why does every woman from these Netherlands try to sound like Joan Baez? Did anybody ever tell them we loved her? And what would be the proper punishment for that?

The video Anouk presents herself with is supposed to show you how good she is at live singing. Instead the miserable excuse of a camera shows you every bit of a reason for why Lars von Trier should stay far, far away from this competition. It does not exactly improve the impression. And the lyrics? The LYRICS are about birds falling down from the roof tops like rain drops. Why on earth would they do such a thing?

We’re disappointed. Oh, so disappointed. We had a dream Anouk would be. So different from this crap they’re usually making. But it is so different now from what it seemed.

Again they killed the dream we dreamed.


  1. I couldn’t disagree more with you guys. Sometimes I can’t believe what I am reading… 🙂

  2. I like this song, all the more so when I compare it to most of the others on offer. I enjoy the apocalyptic image in the lyrics which match the menacing, deceptively sweet tone of the song, even thouigh I don’t accurately understand its meaning.

    Still, strangely enough, I cannot NOT agree with everything you say. I can actually simpathise with every word. This, specially the melody part, is very true:”She sounds like we did when we were ten years old pretending to be musical stars and making up words and melody along the way.” I remember feeling the exact same thing when I was listening to it for the first times, but not being able to put it into words. You clever girls!

    I believe this will do very well and I’ll be glad when it happens, but I shall always feel sort of privately sorry a litle more effort hasn’t been put into it to make me love it and be happy for it..

    1. We have read lots of comments on fan forums and blog reviews of this song and tried our best to understand why so many fans seem to like it so much. But no, there’s just nothing there. We both had major WTF moment the first time we heard it and that feeling just doesn’t wear off no matter how many times we listen to it. It’s still crap, end of story.

  3. I do agree with the review. I can’t understand why some people insist that it will do well when that’s it’s not really going to happen. I’m not even sure if it will qualify to the grand final.

    1. We just don’t get the buzz some entries get. Suddenly a unanimous fan world thinks this is the greatest entry ever? That this is *real* music and perhaps too good for Eurovision and what not? Why? Because when the Netherlands finally manage to send something similar to an an actual artist it deserves praise by default? It’s a load of pretentious, atonal dirge, if you ask us. We wouldn’t at all be surprised if this one doesn’t qualify.

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