Forgettable formula from Iceland

A rather outdated dance stompathon and some jolly smiling through tears ragtime rhythms is what our Nordic siblings on Iceland have dished up for us the past couple of years. We haven’t been overly enthusiastic. So when it’s finally time for an entry which sounds like it’s carved directly out of the rugged landscapes on the Saga island, our meters are definitely peaking. And we’ll gladly admit that “Never forget” can tick off most boxes in what makes the ultimate Eurovision song:

  • A talented, young couple, looking exactly like how you expect people from that country to look like, check
  • The girl of course looking stunningly beautiful and the guy looking like Prince Charming himself, check
  • One of them being a former ESC contestant, securing the commentators to have something to talk about when introducing the entry, check
  • Picking up a few elements from last year’s winning entry, in this case a male/female duet, check
  • A dash of the ethnic, folksy sound very similar to what people perceive to be typical for that particular country, check
  • Telling a story that most people can relate to, regardless of origin, check
  • Holyschmoly, the stunning blonde girl plays a violin, check
  • Dramatic without becoming too sinister, check
  • Caters to the taste of many different age groups, your nan will like it as well as the emokid in the family, check
  • Bearing a resemblance to quite a few other popular songs, but being unique enough to avoid being accused for plagiarism, check
  • The mandatory key change, check
  • The not equally mandatory full stop in the middle to build it up even further to create goose bumps and wow- factor, check (alltough we’re sure it won’t last as long live as the attention span to most viewers is not by far long enough to endure so many seconds of silence without reaching for the remote control and this is not to be risked)

It should be a walk in the park to secure the first win for Iceland when they’ve pinned down the recipe for success like this. But likewise we thought we had it in the bag with Alvedansen back in 2006, and ended up as number 14 or somewhere in that neighborhood. Because on the big evening it really didn’t have much impact. And judging by Greta & Jónsi’s live performance in the national final, which was so stripped for energy and so incredibly boring we’d rather watch paint dry, we’re suspecting this to be heading down the same road as our Christine.

And to be honest we can’t stand symphonic rock. We usually leave the party if someone starts playing Evanescence or Nightwish records, and delete the moron from our friends-list on Facebook. It’s really not our cuppa. Perhaps that’s why we think Iceland’s entry this year sounds like something Rolf Løvland could jot down on a napkin at a after-party back in the haydays. But toss it in the bin the next morning.

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