Turkey seems a bit stuck between the Vikings and a hard place these days. Almost fine by us.
Hello Turkey, we’re from Norway. We’re the ones who named your country Miklagard rowing over and bullying about as we were. We cannot, however, remember you doing the same for us. But maybe now your time has come? Surely that must be the story behind your entry this year?
Not that we would mind. This kinda rocks. At least after we got past the ‘ok, here’s more of those who believe any ethnic influence will score the votes and there’s the lunatic in the cisterns’. It did grow on us for sure. There’s quality to be found, and it’s not just in Jack Sparrow’s oversized cape and the man with jewelry for a face. Those trombones sounding like clarinets are totally golden, as are most of the Turkish musical history on display. The song’s pretty good too, once you get past the lame lyrics, that peaks around ‘harbor to my ship, baby, I’ll make you fly’ (what’s up with flying when your man’s all about boats?). We catch ourselves dancing around in a circle, which will be happening a lot more for the next couple of months, thanks to Turkey.
The only quality not to be exaggerated is the quality of the singer. Such a shame, really, but his voice is what shouldn’t show up in Baku if we oughta cast our vote. If it were up to us, we’d say Turkey should send that guy out sailing his own waters or hand him over to the Vikings (meaning us) for proper use and hire someone else. But hey, what do we know? Maybe a nasal, squeaky, truly and magnificently annoying voice is all cool and trendy and lovely by the turn of May?
We’re also afraid we need to mention that there’s one thing that doesn’t stick too well with GEE (or actually, there’s many, but let’s for the sake of a decent cliche pretend there’s only one), and that is those who ditch singing in favor of talking during the song. We mean, you either rap or you don’t. And if you don’t, you sing all through your three minutes instead of withdrawing and encouraging others to take over.
Then in the end we have a question exclusively for the video director. It goes a bit like this: ‘Umbrellas???? Seriously??? What were you thinking??? Is Rihanna Turkish or something???’
Other than that, we’re fine.