It’s not a good sign when writing a review feels like just another boring chore that has be done on a dull Sunday night. When we actually consider cleaning the fridge or alphabetizing our spice rack rather then trying to come up with something clever or witty to say about today’s chosen song. This is how we feel about Belgium’s entry this year. Iris’ song “Would you” is so frightfully boring in so many levels we don’t even find any joy in trashing it.
The artist, the song, the performance, it all appears completely irrelevant. Iris flounders aimlessly around the stage on matchstick legs and a facial expression like she just fell from the moon. It looks like she’s trying to interpret the song with an oh so serious and heartfelt maturity, which is all oh so wrong for a girl who’s barely 17 and most probably doesn’t know the first thing about being in a complicated relationship. We wonder what she will think herself if her house was empty. She’d probably be wondering where her parents are.
In a way we feel sorry for Iris, it’s very likely not her fault that she ended up with such a bland song. But then again we refuse to make excuses on her behalf. Because despite her tender age she’s old enough to have her own opinions and she should have been wise and turned this song down. It doesn’t fit her, it lacks a catchy chorus and it’s basically going nowhere. It’s just three extremely long and awkward minutes and while we’re not exactly in agony because it sounds bloody awful we just find it meaningless to listen to.
Ok, whatever, nuff said, we can’t possibly find anything more to say about it. We’ve done our chores for today. May we go out and play now, please?