The only familiarity we have with Austrian rap is Falco’s epic Rock Me Amadeus from the glorious 80s. And make no mistake, we really dig that song in an extremely non-ironic way. We would scream with joy and dance on the tables if someone accidentally played this track at a party. So in theory we should be supportive of rap from Austria coming from cool, but oh so pretentious, dudes with attitudes.
However, after forcing ourselves to sit through a couple of run-throughs of Trackshittaz’ Woki Mit Deim Popo, we think we might be in need of psycho therapy to recover from the scars it has left on our souls. Everything about this number is so vile it’s beyond words. We pray that these blokes will get a big fat zero from the juries in Baku, and we feel truly sorry for the poor sods that admit to liking this piece of shit (pun indeed intended). Seriously, what is wrong with the people of Austria? But if they want to be represented by a couple of imbeciles fronting a sexist, tasteless show, then we suppose they’re welcome to it. The joke’s on them, really. Oh Gawd, we feel like frumpy, old hags being so negative, but c’mon peeps, what’s sexy about this blatant display of vulgarity? Nadine Beiler last year was sexy, with her classic LBD, perky bob and big voice.
Goddammit, Austria, we were happy upon your return last year. Now you make us wish it never happened.