So, you thought we forgot about the men this year? Oh no, not us. We have been following them for quite some time now. And even though there’s no equal to our long lost love, Marcin Mrozínski (is there ever?), there’s a couple of highlights in the goodiebag this year as well. Here are the votes of the GEE jury:
1 point go to Azerbaijan’s Eldar Chris Martin Qasimov
Barely made the list, but as cute as he is, we’re kinda glad he did. We enjoy his style and he does have the most Chris Martinest of voices. And after all we do love Chris Martin. So guess there’s your point, Eldar.
2 points go to F.Y.R. Macedonia’s Vlatko Ilievski
Guess there’s nothing interesting to say about him. He looks allright and should make the list for that. There. Now you’re in. Keep on looking grumpy and see how many friends you get.
3 points go to Russia’s Alexej Vorobjov
All right, so it would be kinda mean to skip Alexej in favor of some of his hunky dancers. And we are enjoying that leather style he’s brought to Dtown. So we’ll skip telling you about that vast use of Elnett and his feather like appearance. He’s good enough. At least for a couple of points.
4 points go to Italy’s Raphael Gualazzi
Well, he actually could have scored some more points had he just sorted out his hair and his way too short pants. Guess Berlusconi could have sponsored some more fabric and a hair dresser. Plus for gangster shoes, though. And for being Italian in Eurovision. After all, we’ve been suffering from some abstinence.
5 points go to France’s Amaury Vassili
Yes, we know. He’s a little Falcoish and a little Josh Grobanish. But still, he’s major handsome. And his receding hairline is totally covered in long waves that we’d love to dig our hands into. Also digging the props, including leather jacket, leather gloves and that red little vehicle of his.
6 points go to Ireland’s Jedward*2
The Jedwards are the hipsters of Eurovision. Now who would have guessed that sentence ever would come up. They deserve a little special attention. After all they’re twice as nice, twice as funky and twice as weird as most other participants.
7 points go to Portugal’s Nuno Duarte
Good looking revolutionists are never wrong. And funny makes supah sexy in our opinion. In fact, we can’t wait to see Nuno in Dtown. Maybe he can be funny in English or French or something to our ears?
8 points go to Denmark’s Aske Damm Bramming
Aske is such a hunk, really, going about in his own little show onstage there moving like he was wearing an ipod with alternative music and wearing fur while his buddies are trying to save the world in the most sincere way possible. Only wish he gained some height, but then again – he might not be fully grown? A little minus for the kitten, though. Could we hope for a fashion improvement for Dtown? (Actually, we should have included the rest of AFIL here as well. They’re all such charmers, but oh, the hard choices you sometimes have to make. Hope we’ll be able to live with it).
10 points go to UK’s Simon Webbe
Ah, Simon makes us get what that boyband fuzz is all about. There’s a slight minus from the jury for that oily naked body he insisted on exposing us to, though. Now that would only be acceptable if the jury were to smear the oil. But then again, plus for just about everything else. We only pray to God he’s not as self righteous as we’d expect.
12 points go to Greece’s Loucas Yiorkas
But let’s be honest, no one would ever beat that gospel according to Loucas. Greek Gods are made for Eurovision, and here’s our Apollo. He makes us regret never hopping on one of those not so finely packaged last minute holliday trips to Cyprus, where we might have run into him if we were extremely lucky. Loucas is our sole reason for not timing our toilet break to the Greek number. But oh, whatta reason!