Oh, it’s the worst kind of terror. The one you don’t realize is bad for you until it is way too late and it’s already occupying valuable space in your otherwise well functioning brain:
We all know them. The pretty pretty girls and boys with the pretty smile and the oh, so goddamn pretty voice. And they know themselves. They know they’re pretty, they know they have a pretty smile and most of all they are so goddamn aware of the fact that they have a pretty pretty voice. And they sing to you. They sing to you in parties, they sing to you in the bus, they sing to you all over Youtube, they sing to you in soccer practice and unfortunately they’re now singing to you in Dusseldorf.
They are oh such happy Christians and they make us oh, so annoyed satanists. Seriously, peepz, can’t you just read a verse instead? Somewhere we never show up? Worst of all, really, is the fact that those pretty people team up and pretend to be singing together. But we now know what they really do is run some kind of singing competition amongst themselves and masturbate all their vocal harmonies together into one mess that never stops. And unfortunately we are fooled into believing we like it just long enough for it to activate the parts of our brains too often used for storing spam. For that, Belgium, you deserve to end up somewhere far away from heaven.
Another with love now, and our total ability to love will forever be lost and we’ll seriously consider killing someone. Please, peepz, quit abusing our heads. And while you are at it, quit pretending to be beat boxes. The only thing that works for is giving us a little break from the vocal overdose. But everyone know methadone doesn’t work forever. Guess you deserve a tiny credit for your sense of style, though. You are the proud owners of some of the best outfits in 2011. But hey, we’ve got Top Model and teen blogs for that – places where showing off is a little more appreciated.
We so wish Belgium found something to be proud of other than a tiny boy taking a leak. But this sure shouldn’t be it.