Sweet Mother of God, it must be hard to be Dutch in the Eurovision Song Contest. We imagined for a second what it would be like if Norway selected Babelfish to represent us in Düsseldorf and we gather this must be pretty much how the Dutch must feel with their 3JS. Heaven forbid. We’d rather send the neighbor’s cat to Düsseldorf. The poor creature might not sing as well as these Dutch blokes, but she sure is more entertaining at the very least! How is it even possible to put forward something so bland, weak, impotent, futile and unattractive? We don’t find one single appealing aspect with this entry, perhaps except the fact that this year’s effort is a wee bit better than last year, but that really doesn’t count since Sieneke blew the awfulness scale off the charts completely.
This band might be popular domestically, but we can’t see any reason why the rest of us should be bothered with having to listen to them. There’s crappy bands and artists aplenty in Norway as well, but at least we try to keep them to ourselves (sorry about pushing Didrik Solli-Tangen on you last year though, nobody’s perfect).
We suppose this entry tries to pass as being quality pop music for an adult audience. Not very suited for Eurovision in the first place in our opinion though, but ok, as long as it really had some quality to it, then fine, we guess. And we suppose that the guys in the band will try to sell their song with arguments like you don’t have to be clowns on stage with fancy costumes and intriguing choreography, the song will speak for itself, blabla. But the thing is, this song says absolutely nothing, it’s just an empty shell, with a whole lot of nothingness. It doesn’t move one single hair on our forearms or grab on to the slightest fiber of our hearts. And by not staging a carnival on stage it becomes even more obvious, because there’s nothing to even cover up this great big void. It’s like the emperor’s new clothes. We hate to break it to you guys, but Holland, you’re naked.