There’s one thing our bodies would never never never want ever ever, not in a million years or if it was the only entertainment available, and that’s annoying little brats from Sweden:
We mean, Djeeeeezes. WHEN did Sweden start to host gladiator fights? WHO decided WHISTLING was a smart thing to do? WHAT’S up with ONE leather glove and a bunch of WARDROBE stands? And WTF and FML and Djeeezes again and all those other words we are able to say but should not publish according to our PR advisers.
You must be joking, Sweden. This is some horrifying experience. It makes being hangover kinda entertaining and fun. In fact it makes us long for last night’s trip down memory lane best forgotten of Dr. Alban. This Eric Saade sure knows how to ruin a quiet Sunday.
We can’t help but thinking that when you totally insist on screaming “I will be popular!”, chances are you know you never will be. At least GEE will never fall for that convictional screaming. In fact, the only positive aspect we see here, is that Eric has decided to kick out his dancers. Reason was they can’t sing. No, and they can’t really dance either, we can inform you. Two reasons why Eric should be kicked out himself. But unfortunately no, he’s bound to show up in Düsseldorf. Even bound to get a couple of votes, we reckon. All for the sake of his shiny little smile and leather jacket. But seriously, people, won’t you listen to the SONG? And seriously, Sweden. ARE you joking?
Ah, we so wish Eric would have settled for peeling bananas in Oslo like the rest of his friends. He would have been so much better at that. And he sure would have had a blast without us being exposed to it. Guess there’s not much more to say. We’re just so shocked by the DECLINE of the Swedish Eurovisional empire. What happened here? Could this be the same country we were once united to? Could this be the same country that feeds us cheap meat, essential furniture and necessary labor? Could they really be our neighbors? Could we even be related to this piece of horror?
Stop, don’t even tell us this is possible.