Melodifestivalen 2011, Wazzup Sweden?

Nuff said about Denmark for a while, not that it’s last time we will go on and on about how much we love A Friend in London and their fab New Tomorrow which we think will score big in Düsseldorf, but there’s stuff going on other places as well. Since last, about a million other countries have chosen their entry and we’ve been basically ignoring it. Shame on us! But we promise to come back with reviews of all the participating songs once the selection season is done, and trust us we have some unfinished business to tend to with regards to what on earth has been going on across Europe.

And speaking of; what’s up in Sweden? Or to put it more precisely, what’s up with Sweden? Maybe it’s just us, but it’s looking more and more like they are losing their touch, deteriorating a notch for each new level of despair they reach. Cause there is a certain desperate flair about the final line-up this year, and we really struggle to find something we like. It’s like they’re trying too hard, and it just end up sounding forced, superficial, artificial and calculated. And it doesn’t exactly help that some of the best songs have been chucked out in the semi-final rounds, like Loreen’s My Heart is Refusing Me. Which is now currently topping the iTunes chart in Sweden. Well done Swedes! People just tend to vote for the wrong songs. Or should we rather say, it’s the wrong people who does most of the voting. Sweden can still end up with something half decent and can score a respectable placing in Düsseldorf. But what’s the point when there’s no heart and soul in it? When it’s just average? Cause if you don’t burn for an entry, it’s better if you want the whole thing to burn. Everything in between bores us.

Here’s our verdict for Saturday’s final:

Danny Saucedo – In the club
Danny dances well, have the looks and looks trendy in a safe, inoffensive kind of way. The song will most definitely become a floor stomper at Euroclub in Düsseldorf and the fan boys will love it regardlessly of Danny himself ever making it there or not. Danny is far too groomed to push any of our buttons (not that we think we’re the target group he’s aiming for in the first place) and we get bored right about after the 39th repetition of “In the club”. It only reminds us to stack up on painkillers for those harsh mornings in Düsseldorf after a long night out on the town.

Sara Varga – Spring för livet
Sara needed a nip by the Lucky Loser round to make it to Globen. Not that this needs to be a bad thing as two out of four super finalists in Norway this year did the same. There’s something releasing about Sara’s simple song. It actually sounds real and heartfelt unlike most of the other entries on offer. The theme of the lyrics is quite grim and singing about how to leave an abusive and violent relationship might lean towards oversharing in this context. But at least Sara concentrates only on performing the song and does not throw in a misplaced and ridiculous aerobic routine like Shirley’s Angels did when they sang about leaving your man.

The Moniker – Oh my God!
The other Lucky Loser in Globen and a couple of reruns must have done wonders cause we are actually starting to like this number! This is a song Mika would have killed for, but the Swedish Phil Collins lookalike performing it suits it well. The whole routine on stage looks a bit busy and could benefit from some tidying up, but we’re loving the treadmill so please keep that. Omg, can this be the winner?

Brolle – 7 days and 7 nights
Looks like Brolle has studied our MGP God Alexander Stenerud’s performances cause he really does show an honest effort to work the stage and the camera. However, nothing compares to our almighty MGP God and Brolle ends up resembling more like a copycat of Belgium 2009.

Linda Bengtzing – E del fet på mej
Is there something wrong with me, Linda Bengtzing asks. And since she’s asking we might as well answer. Hell yes! Where do we begin? Looking like an bipolar easter chicken who forgot to take her medication isn’t exactly charming. Raving on about your midlife crisis and how much you wish to cheat on the man you have at home doesn’t score you any extra sympathy points either. What is wrong with Sweden if this woman is voted off to Düsseldorf is a far more timely question in our opinion. Yuck.

Nicke Borg – Leaving home
Yet another midlife crisis on stage. This could have been good, but it’s not. His voice is bloody annoying and we don’t like men with ponytails.

Swingfly – Me and my drum
This is one of the few numbers we can live with. It has a cool beat and a drive reminding us of a computer game where you get so caught up you just wanna go on and on to make it to the next level. The three vocalists do not quite add up, the girl in the end sounds a bit misplaced and the whole number is messy. And what’s with this drum, is it a metaphor for something? Too deep for us in that case. But this is fun and joyous and unpretentious and happy. We like.

Sanna Nielsen – I’m in love
We suppose it’s only the notorious Thomas G:son who can get away with stealing so openly from Irene Cara’s Flash-dance soundtrack. How utterly tastefully done. Not. Sanna Nielsen has participated in Melodifestivalen around a million times and she looks like a likable girl who sings well and probably would have deserved scoring a ticket to the international ESC final at some point. She looks confident on stage and we like the fact that it’s not appearing like she’s doing an audition for So You Think You Can Dance while trying to sing at the same time. But we don’t get the “stuck in a cage” routine. It only reminds us of caged up animals in the zoo walking back and forth staring at the morons on the outside.

The Playtones – The King
How ironic wouldn’t it be if the Mothership of Schlager would end up sending these smurfs to Düsseldorf? That would have been fun. Christer Björkman is playing a dangerous game by letting these blokes compete cause the chorus sticks to your brain like glue and this is something our mum’s and dad’s easily could have voted for. Dark horse?

Eric Saade – Popular
Everyone expects Eric Prettyboy Saade to win. Which is kinda sad, cause he should rather have won last year when he actually had a good song. We know it’s not suppose to be funny, but we are laughing our bums’ off when he’s inside the glass cage looking shit scared when the glass breaks. Not quite the effect he was aiming for we gather.  But by all means Sweden, go ahead and choose Eric Saade, we won’t miss you that much on May 14th anyways. The best of luck for next year.


  1. Well, at least Sweden tries this year unlike Norway… Swahili, wtf? Did you miss the title of the contest? Us Swedes WILL be missing you on May 14th cause we love our neighbours… just not too sure you’ll make it, if you will, it’s gonna be cause of the incredibly low quality of the other songs.

  2. We can feel the love Rebecca, how very sincere and heartwarming! Guess we’ll just have to wait until May to see how it will turn out, we’d love a good fight between Norway and Sweden. The best of luck to both Stella and Eric!

  3. Good analysis of Eric Saade, ladies. Funny how few people see the VERY possible Charlotte Perelli/Malena Ernman result coming up for them once again… A good friend was in the Norwegian jury that cast votes during Melodifestivalen – their comment about the Norwegian jury only giving one single point to Saade: “Don’t say we didn’t try and warn you!” 🙂 Haba Haba!

    1. Yes, the Swedes have been a bit out of touch with what Europe takes a liking to the last few years, the same mistake Norway made last year, we might add. Eric Saade can come a long way with being cute and we do admire his ambitions, but with that song? No chance we gather. So you have connections in important places Bjørn? Keep those insider’s gossips coming our way!

      Haba Haba from the GEE squad

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