Tonight’s the night: First semi-final in Norway!

It’s with somewhat mixed emotions we’re now about to embark on the national final season. Don’t get us wrong, this is something we have longed for since Lena hearted all the folks that voted for her on that glorious evening back in May. But the road leading to the 42 entries that will be presented in Düsseldorf seems to be paved with a neverending story of hopeful wannabes and godawful hasbeens. In order to preserve our sanity we have come to the realization that it’s simply not possible to follow all the semi-finals, internet selections, pre-qualifying heats and what have you. It sort of makes sense to focus on the finals where at least the line-ups have been reduced to a manageable size and quantity.

We will however pay special attention to the semi-finals in Norway, and don’t be surprised if we can’t help ourselves sticking our opinionated noses into the odd semi-final heat in Melodifestivalen or Söngvakeppni Sjónvarpsins either.

Ok, nuff said on our part. Let’s move on to our review of the first MGP semi-final heat ready to perform at Ørlandet tonight.

Big Brother babe and biker girl Carina Dahl kicks off the show with her upbeat number Guns & Boys and we really wish she wouldn’t. The combination of trashy and talentless is not winning our hearts over and something is telling us (or should we rather say screaming at us) that she won’t pull this off live. She might be able to save herself from total humiliation if she presents the song with tons of humor and an over the top extravagant show, there are at least enough metaphors in the lyrics which can result in some interesting choreography.

Next up is Use Me. We thought for a minute we were stuck in the mid 90s when listening to Daisy which is kinda ironic since these guys were all still in diapers back then. Nothing wrong with a bit of nostalgia, but we’re sort of done with Buffalo shoes, bare bellies, twirly hairdo’s and skirt over trousers combos, so we would prefer this reminder to stay in the semi.

And then there’s Helene Bøksle. Makes us wonder why we even bother to go through with four semi-finals and a final in Norway this year since it’s so obvious that she’s the one to represent us in ESC 2011. A well connected bird whispered this into our ears during the Eurovision weeks in Oslo in May, and so far it seems like everything is leading up to the inevitable. Helene’s song Vardlokk is not that bad. We like the darkness in it and that it is not some cheerful milkmaid yodeling. And we are after all suckers for the ethnic sound. It’s sounds very much like Alvedansen, maybe too much, and that’s not a good thing. So it should be interesting to see if this number can stand on it’s own feet and if Helene manages to impersonate the strong and misterous huldra instead of the mild and innocent milkmaid.

Sie Gubba represent the average joe, and believe us there’s a lot of those around our beautiful godforsaken rural country. That’s why we won’t be surprised if Alt du vil ha is one of the entries that will score a ticket to the final. The song is crappy allright, but sadly people tend to like this kind of crap.

Gatas Parlament
contrast Sie Gubba nicely with their urban rap number Jobbe litt mindre og tjene litt mer. They have already managed to create a great deal of controversy with their politically charged lyrics loaded with foul language (is it against the rules?). We like their attitude and appreciate the fact that they have obviously strained themselves to adjust to the Eurovsion format incorporating ethnic gypsy beats and a sing along chorus.

Sichelle seems to be a sweetheart and we applaud her for choosing to sing in Norwegian. And thank God the lyrics are in Norwegian cause Trenger mer sounds like it’s written by a 10 year old. Perhaps this entry would have been a smash hit in JESC, but in ESC for grownups this is just embarrassing.

We really want to like the ladies Åste&Rikke. We know Åste from an Idol season a few years back and boy she sure can sing! But the song Not that easy (Ah-Åh- Ah-Åh) just isn’t strong enough we think. What’s up with the Ah-Åh- Ah-Åh’s anyways, it will certainly win the prize for the lamest song title for what it’s worth. No matter how talented and hardworking these girls might be, it just won’t cut it.

We’ll put our money on Helene tonight. Everything else would just be a waste of money, really.


  1. >Fat bloggers: Sie Gubba represent the average joy, and believe us there's a lot of those around our beautiful godforsaken rural country. That's why we won't be surprised if Alt du vil ha is one of the entries that will score a ticket to the final. The song is crappy allright, but sadly people tend to like this kind of crap……..Me: Says two ugly fat bitches! Have you ever played 150-200 conserts a year and for sold out tickets all over Norway? Ehh I think not..Have you ever won a gold record? Get a fucking life before you call other peoples music for crap, cause if you call it crappy, then come up with something better next year and sing yourself. And please dont make a hole in the stage fat bitches. People like you guys are so low, so low that i go lower and call you names too. YOU`RE crappy. AND FAT. Mohaha.. Also Use Me was a good band. GET your eyes up bitches cuz this is what kids are listening to today, Ill just mention; All time Low, Bullet for my valentine, Blood On the Dancefloor, 3 doors down, Nickleback, blink182. Yea so try read a little whats going on in the world, and whats in and whats out maybe you will get a a clue.. Or just go back to the kitchen and start stuffing food in your fat faces. Its only understandable that you are jealous of a beautifull girl like Carina. Start jogging, get your fat asses of the couch and maybe MAYBE some day you will be like her. And yea you wouldnt wanna waist to much money on MGP cuz you need it to buy food right? To get more fat? XD And wth is wrong with your hair woman ?? Did someone put a bowl on it and cut around? THATS SOOOOO OLD FASHION. Ewwww! o.O

  2. >We suppose Blogger Queen Ida Wulff is right, you know your blog's a success when you've earned yourself a dedicated crowd of haters.And Anonymous, your Mom must be so proud, hardly no spelling mistakes!

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