A new Eurovision year is rapidly approaching, and the national finals bonanza is already up and running. For GEE bloggers that means a lot of work heeding all the songs making up our mind several times too many. We have to admit it can be quite tiresome. Because in spite of our love for Eurovision, there is still some bad stuff going on around Europe. But oh, what sacrifices we make for our beloved readers.
The time has come to Romania. This is a country that really takes Eurovision bloody seriously. Actually so seriously that their national final is on New Year’s Eve, lasting for six full hours. Now that calls for some special attention. And since this day is a day for happy thoughts, that’s what we’ll give you. Because no matter the extent of suffering brought upon us, GEE girls see something good in everyone.
So here’s what we’ll do: We’ll give every entry and every participant some awards – all the awards they deserve, actually. And since we already scrolled through all those numbers, we’ll reveal the awards to you now. You can see it as our way of predicting the future. Chances are you won’t be stuck watching the Romanian national finals at the strike of 2011 anyways!
Here are the results of the GEE jury:
#1 Adi Cristescu – One by one
Best misplaced moustache in a too leading role; best choir chick dress; best weird purple clothing underneath a white shirt and best attempt at contacting the sun when really you can’t even reach your neighbor with that boring song.
#2 Dalma – Song for him
Best hairdo; hottest woman; coolest woman; most shocking turn of events; best red shoes; most confusing story and best song, ‘nough said.
#3 Leticia – Dreaming of you
Best woman in possession of almost the same name as the Crown Princess of Spain; best overly dramatized opening; most confused woman; best dancer with too much makeup and most successful attempt at being so uninteresting you’d rather watch the not so good dancer on mute.
#4 Silvia Stefanescu – I can’t breathe without you
Best boobs in competition and in entire Romania when Paula Selling is on vacation; best impersonation of Catherine Zeta Jones; best respirator in a leading role; best attempt at singing ‘can’ when the song title specifically says ‘can’t’; most zombied choir chicks and most annoying piece of crap in a leading role.
#5 Blaxy Girls – It’s so fine
Best attempt at turning a blanket into a skirt without succeeding; best rapper disguised as a rather dull folk musician and best attempt at convincing yourself everything is fine when really that is very far from the truth.
#6 Claudia Pavel – I want u to want me
Best wig; best attempt at trying to make someone like her when really no one does; most muscular arms; best choir chick dressed in something very interesting; most bored white clad guitar player; most self absorbed keyboard player and best song that you didn’t really catch until it was over and you praised the Lord.
#7 Laurentiu Cazan – We can change the world
Best attempt at saving the world when the entire band is busy doing something else and really you are the one who needs saving; best leather jacket; best satin pants that are way too tight in all of the wrong places and none of the right; best bar stools in a major role; best attempt at straightening up and staying right and definitely not moving and best man looking like a woman while trying to look like a man.
#8 Dan Helciug – My Facebook girl
Best social media song in traditional media in a supporting role; best use of drum as nothing but footrest; best stageshow with laptops; best attempt at turning Van Morrison, Cher and Bob Marley into social media; best travel sticker collection; best adaption of Mark Daniel Read’s hairdo by someone definitely not being Mark Daniel Read and best use of sentences like “when you added me as a friend, it felt like Christmas day in July” and “My mouse is burning hot from clicking on the internet”.
#9 Distinto, Ianna & Anthony Icuagu – Open your eyes
Best dress; best misplaced moustache; best attempt at looking like Mark Anthony when clearly you’re on the wrong continent; worst choir man hairdo; best late entrance by blonde babe and best eye opener in a leading role.
#10 Directia 5 – Cinema love
Best keyboard playing with several instruments except keyboard present; best repeating bending of knees by bass player; hottest man with pink jumper in a leading role; best boyband with one hot man and a lot of weirdos doing their own separate things; most alluring moves by a male vocalist and best choir man acting like he is in a leading role, when really he shouldn’t have been there at all.
#11 Rallsa – Take me down
Best movie opening; best heels; hottest catsuits; best destruction of entry when starting to sing; best ass shaking; best attempt at cloning Brittney Spears and Madonna; best whatta fuck is this music kind of music; most obvious attempt at being taken down.
#12 Hotel FM – Change
Best combination of Supertramp and Robbie Williams; best playing of drums and a grand piano while the sound is entirely electronical; best clapping of hands by a pianist while the piano is still playing; most variety in facial expressions by the lead singer; best understanding of not being able to save the world; largest teeth and best snapping of fingers in a leading role.
#13 Mihai Alexandru featuring B-Body & Soul – Bang bang
Best welding glasses of 2011; best attempt at banging the 90s; best fat, short George Michael; best unuseful women; best double chinned rapper; best sudden happening that doesn’t fit the rest of the entry; best lack of money and an ace to play and best blown kiss.
Ok, so a lot of goodies from all of Romania to you there. In terms of winning, guess we should vote for Dalma, since she does have the best song. But do we? No, it isn’t that good. Instead we opt for Directia 5. Only for the chance of making some cinema love to the lead singer in Germany in May. Take a look at the video below, although with our sincerest apologies for the camera man practicing his zooming abilities.
Happy New Year!