How hard could it have been? Part 1: Russia, Greece, Serbia and Spain

So did you think we’d shut up about the second chance contenders? Oh no, not us. Here’s our ruthless reviews:

The entry from Russia is the breathless Antonello Carozza. We think the song Senza Respiro suits the current situation in Moscow pretty darn well, but apart from that, what does it suit exactly? Safe to say all things Italian make GEE girls pop, but this is a bit too much of the language in one blow. We keep wondering when the fellow is gonna catch his breath and actually sing. That part is kinda nice, but we only really enjoy Carozza’s flirty glance and how he makes us miss Italy (not Russia) in Eurovision. Hop back on your carriage, man.

Since Eurovision, the record Giorgos Alkaios gave us has been spinning at every party. Guess no one could have beaten the Opa! in the Greek final, but couldn’t they at least have maxed the envelope? The boring piano, stiff moves and whiny look of Giorgos Karadimos just makes us bored out of our senses. Would have been much cooler to see the cuties of Melisses getting a second chance than this robocop.

We did love Milan this year, but we have to say Emina Jahović helps him keep Serbia on the Eurovision throne. She perhaps should have picked up a few clothing hints from her male challenge, but she sure can swing her hips. And swinging your hips is hard not to do to at this Easter European festa. We applaud the sentence “love is moussaka”, feel like smashing a few plates and go all sh sh sh and ding dong ding dong from now on. Please give us more of this, Serbia. Plenty more. And can someone please tell us if maca really means pussy? In that case there’s extra points for vulgarism.

Despite our despise of bagpipes, Coral from Spain also deserves some attention. She is a pretty lady singing a pretty song that follows all the Eurovision rules. Kinda Rocky Jr 2 and a bit to much screaming towards the end, but still good. It sure is a weird thing Daniel was the one to catch the Jimmy Jump award, but maybe just as well?

Two fine ladies and two not so fine men here, then. We’ll give you more later, but our favorite this far is without doubt the reds:

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