Mr Halvorsen is our guest blogger. He’s a bitter old faggot who spends all his welfare money on drinks and boys in a dark corner of London Pub, which is a legendary gay bar i Oslo. Now he gets a chance to do what he does best: Pass judgment on others from a safe distance. Lucky for us!
Lady Gaga just had a shit, and out of her avant garde ass, came Giorgos Alkaios and his four hunky dancers! This is my favorite entry this year, and here’s why: This performance is like a big hug from baby Jesus for all the fags and fag hags of Europe.
Let’s face it: The Greek entry is like a scene from a hot gay porn movie! The young handsome dancers just know they’ve been very, very naughty. The pugdy big daddy, Mr Giorgos himself, punishes them by smacking their firm asses verbally for about three testoterone filled and guttoral popalicious minutes. Excuse me, I just had a Eurovision orgasm and came in my pants!
It’s easy to be distracted by this homo erotic performance from the very country that invented gays, but let’s not forget about the song itself! I’m telling you, girlfriend, Opa! has all the qualities of a Eurovision hit. It’s so tacky it goes from good to bad and then back to good again! Plus it’s instantly catchy, has sufficient etno flavour in it, and you’re either asleep on Valium, or in a wheel chair if you don’t want to shake your ass to the beat of this Hellenic orgy of rhythm and pure male sweat.
OK, so Greece treats it’s asylum seekers like shit. They’re retarded economically, but girl, I’m telling you, they definitely know how to terrorize the world through Eurovison. And I mean that in a good way.
The only thing missing on stage (that would rub my male g-spot) is a wind machine! But hey, you just can’t have it all.