Happy National Day and welcome to Norway. The country of hot Vikings and delicious blondes. Now don’t spend your valuable Eurovision time wondering who to take home for breakfast. We already did the research for you. Here is our guide to the best 10 must-sees of the North.
There is Ibsen and there is Bjarte Hjelmeland. Both theatre directors of the Bergen National Scene theatre and some of the coolest guys Norway has been able to breed. Bjarte is Mr Charming in person and represents everything good in this world. Meaning a warm heart, great acting talent and just such a nice smile. This is where our heart starts melting and our faghag mentality develops into obsession. Take a sneak peak, but we don’t know if we’ll be willing to share him.
We do have a thing for hot photographers, and if they are good at their work too, that doesn’t hurt. There’s hardly anyone more stylish and yet so relaxed about it. We mean, who else could make those tacky bracelets look so cool? We even watched Norway’s Next Top Model just for the look of this man. Bjørn mostly lives in LA, but he’s the hipster king that hangs around the coolest spots whenever in Norway, so look deep into his lens if you see him there. He could be worth something real nice.
Ok, this guy is Swedish, but with the Norwegian Flag on his heart as the coach for the Norwegian national team in handball for men, he definitely has a place in our hearts. He’s the impersonation of coolness and calmness as he leads his troops in battle against the best handball squads in the world. In the heat of the match he never loses his temper and even when the boys don’t do well and lose, he patiently answers all questions afterwards and find positive things to point out. We are suckers for true gentlemen and this is what Robert is in every sense of the word. Lets play some ball!
Karl Ove Knausgård
A man whose at the age of 41 is about to publish an autobiographical novel in six volumes and a total of over 6000 pages must have something special. With “My Struggle 1-6” Knausgård has created an enormous fuzz around himself and his literary project which has no parallel in history here in Norway. We just can’t get enough of this man and whether he describes life turning moments like the death of his father or proposing to his wife to be, or trivial stuff like boiling broccoli or making a cup of tea, readers hang on to every word and make it the biggest discussion topics by the water cooler at work. Forget about stupid sit coms and the latest gossip, you’ll find most Norwegians with the nose deep into one of Knausgård’s novels! Stick your nose into him as well.
Bjørn Erik Thon
This man really takes care of all of us as he is the Consumer Ombudsman. In every vulnerable state, whether shopping online or being stuck in ash traffic, it is nice to know that this charming fellow would help us claim our rights in this world. He’s always behind you watching your back – just turn around and never ever turn again.
pic: Bjørn-Eivind Årtun/Forbrukerombudet
Øystein has been singing about the prettiest girl in Oslo for a decade now. And still we’re not tired of it. Because he is the prettiest boy in Oslo. We enjoy his contrasting personality of cokiness and sweetness, his blue voice, his skateboarding talent and his extreme musicality, and we don’t know anyone who could hit falsetto while staying so sexy. This is Øystein Greni from Big Bang. If you’re lucky enough to see him, there’s nothing to do but to enjoy.
Look deep into
Looking like a stud at the age of 54, Ketil is the George Clooney of the North. As an actor he has been charming us in a family drama at Eurovision broadcaster NRK recently, and towards the end he was the only quality left. But what a quality with his mysterious look, greyish shadow beard and fit body. That would even make us watch him as a tooth fairy at the Northern theater right now. We suspect he’s single and he does know his intimate scenes, so if you meet him out somewhere, just put on your nicest smile and stay.
Pic: Hålogaland teater
John Olav Nielsen
He sings rocked up love songs of diamonds and cherries and valium and our favorite spots in Bergen in a dialect we just love. Now in our world, that is very hard to beat. Along comes hairdos Elvis would have envied, the sorest of voices and a rock attitude to be admired. Take him home, tie him to your bed, feed him cherries and just don’t fuck up love. Pic nicked from Oslopuls (after all, this is rock’n roll).
Aksel Lund Svindal
Norwegians are born with their skis on and no one can make the skies run faster than this guy! As one of Norway’s greatest olympians and winter sport athletes he’s not just a winner, but also a gentleman and a great role model. During competitions he’s always professional to the bone, and has this special ability of being best when it really counts. One should think that this would make him arrogant and self-important, but even his rivals on the slopes like and respect him. With his laid back attitude and great sense of humor, what’s not to like? Oh, and the best part, he’s still single! Maybe not after Eurovision?
What sounds better to a woman’s ear than a dark and handsome man who is responsible of taking care of all Norwegian children’s rights? Nothing, we’d say. This man is sort of soft, sort of rough, sort of mysterious, sort of nice, sort of cultural, sort of politcal. And mostly yummm. Go hunt.