Now, there’s a substantial difference between the Eurovision Schlager and the good ol’ Deutche Schlager. The single most important difference to us is that we love the first one and detest the latter. In our opinion any German Schlager could be used as torture during interrogations (we’ll give this piece of advice away for free to the CIA), and we cannot for the Love of God understand why we should be bothered with this crap while we sip our glüwein in some glamorous ski resort in the Alps.
This makes us wary of what the German decides to bring to the table in ESC and in all honesty, let’s admit that there has been a lot of weird stuff going on over the years. They just seem so out of sync with the rest of us, and often there’s this “so last year” feeling about it, like last year (lol, pun unintended) when they showed up with Alex Swings Oscar Sings all the while Lou Bega did his thing with Mambo No 5 a decade earlier. We’re sorry to break it to you guys, but Dita did not tease us into unintentionally casting our televotes. And then there’s the language issue. We’re like “Wadde hadde dudde da?” Excuse me? “Man gewöhnt sich so schnell an das Schöne”. Hello? It’s just a fact of life that these things sound better in Italian or French or even English for that sake.
Needless to say, our expectations are always at an absolute minimum when it comes to Germany and damn, it sure feels good to be taken so completely off guard. Lena Meyer-Landrut rocks! Who would have thought that Germany had such a cool, natural, quirky, charming, witty and adorable ace up their sleeve? Here’s the Nellie McKay of Hannover, the German Lilly Allen, so fresh and real. And yet, she’s not a copycat, she adds her unique style to the whole thing as she stumbles around the stage and introduces her very own British sounding accent. It just feels like the complete opposite of the fabricated, artificial and calculated Safura machinery that will roll all over us in not too long.
Yes, now we’re talking, Germany, you’re really on to something this year. But will Europe vote for you? We dunno, but you better do so, or else we’re afraid that an obsessive, 18 year old German school girl will hunt you down!