We have one confession that is easy to make – we truly have a thing for hot, Eastern European men. That’s why we are so deadly disappointed with Russia this year.
It is the country that gave us Dima Bilan. You know, that amazing young thing that never never wanted to let us go in 2006 and believed he could do it all while being surrounded by an ice dancer in 2008 – with a fantastic rerun as an angel in Russia 2009. He surely did do us all, and we loved him oh so very much.
Yes, Dima made us believe in Russia like no one before him. Female equivalents Ta:tu and Serebro didn’t hurt either. But this year’s entry? It hurts more than the morning after two bottles of Stoli. What on earth was going through the Russians’ mind when decided to send a Pavarotti wannabe in his most horrible shirt who hasn’t cut his hair or shaved or done anything to his eyebrows of horror for a decade along with a bass player from the worst of the 80’s, a player of the unmentionable brass instrument and a trashy guitar player who even decides to start talking at some point there? The same bottles of Stoli times two, we’d say. At least the guitar player has the right question: What are you doing, man?
This is beyond pompous. It is a song not worthy of the great nation of Tsars and Faberge eggs. It made us feel sorry for Dima and our own Alexander Rybak who actually had to give this guy a diploma. We so wish Peter Nalitch really was lost and forgotten. We wish we were able to forget about him. We even wanted to support Reagan in outlawing Russia for a while there. But then we remembered Dima.
So please, Dima, Lord of Mercy, come back and take us out of this misery. Because we want the Russian stud again. And we know you can give it to us.