Finally! After months of TV time wasted on women clad in red and trapped in future New England, KGB spies pretending to be American suburbians and bodyguards sleeping with middle-aged, British MPs. After a long time with nothing else to fight about than whether Donald Trump was worse today than yesterday, whether Sweden is going to find a government in time for next Melodifestivalen and whether the EU is better off without Great Britain, just like the rest of us. After countless parties with polite conversations, careful mingling and not a sequin or toilet doll in sight, we hit Eurovision season.
Oh, how we welcome these days of pure joy, lilacs and laughter. How we long for dishy men in hotpants, bitchy boys from Sweden, instruments never seen outside of Eastern Europe and WTFs from Spain. How we cannot wait for the next attempt to conquer the world from Italy. And how we cannot wait to start satirizing about the people’s democratic republic of Israel! Continue reading
This day was inevitable: Eurovision is over. Lisbon has gone South. We have started wearing cotton again, our hair is all flat, we haven’t been interviewed by a single journalist for 24 hours, we listened to music that was not representing a country, we read a newspaper article that wasn’t about a country’s contestant in Eurovision and there is not a dishy head of press in sight to provide us with lovely boys to chat with. Continue reading
Yay, we are at the press center watching the jury final before tomorrow’s Grand Final. This is, as many of you know, the dress rehearsal with a live audience upon which all the juries votes for tomorrow are based, so it matters a lot how the artists are doing at this very moment. Fuckups have been known to happen before and we have been known to report them. This is what we noticed: Continue reading
The Big 5 are looking quite strong this year, well except from the UK and Spain obviously. Quite unexpectedly we do not think that neither Spain nor Germany will finish last this year, so it’s awfully nice of the UK to take over. Here’s our Big 5 and host country’s reviews nicely lined up for you: Continue reading
Earlier this year we hardly believed our slightly challenged ear drums: Hungary had picked a metal band to represent them in Eurovision? And they even had a key change?
Being from the country that invented metal, we needed a chat, of course. A sunny afternoon in Lisbon, we rushed out of being interviewed by some Norwegian media and they rushed out of hair and make-up ahead of the dress rehearsal and we managed to meet half way between the press center and the venue with a very stricked, armed Portuguese guard looking over our shoulders. Continue reading
We got 7 out of 10 of our favorites through to the Grand Final. Let’s see if we can beat that tonight! We had a big row at Hard Rock Cafe last night to settle on a list, the fanboys next to us looked a little scared. Turns out we have changed our minds about a few since we wrote the reviews, click on the links see which ones. Continue reading
As the actual jury final tonight interrupts with our busy party schedule we watched the second dress rehearsal from the arena. Here’s what we noticed!
Norway: The fact that Alex is currently third in the press center poll where everybody hates his song with passion tells us that he’s in with a pretty good shot at winning the whole shebang. Continue reading
Hurrah! The day of the first semi-final is finally here, and it’s time for us to pick our 10 favorites. This is by no means a proper prediction, it’s the ten songs we would like to see go through to the Grand Final. And the best of luck to those who are trying to predict anything tonight, it will be carnage. As usual you can read our reviews by clicking on the links below. Enjoy the show tonight! Continue reading
We woke up in sunny Mouraria, our new favourite part of Lisbon, apart from when the church bells are ringing. We worked real hard at our regular jobs for a few hours, while playing Philip Kirkorov’s “disco partisani” on repeat. Then we went to Metropolitana Music school, where Alexander Rybak was teaching the Eurovision stars of tomorrow to smile while playing. We figured he should have had a class for several of the Eurovision stars of today also. Like Netta or the Armenian bloke. Continue reading