What we noticed as we hit Eurovision season 2019

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Finally! After months of TV time wasted on women clad in red and trapped in future New England, KGB spies pretending to be American suburbians and bodyguards sleeping with middle-aged, British MPs. After a long time with nothing else to fight about than whether Donald Trump was worse today than yesterday, whether Sweden is going to find a government in time for next Melodifestivalen and whether the EU is better off without Great Britain, just like the rest of us. After countless parties with polite conversations, careful mingling and not a sequin or toilet doll in sight, we hit Eurovision season.

Oh, how we welcome these days of pure joy, lilacs and laughter. How we long for dishy men in hotpants, bitchy boys from Sweden, instruments never seen outside of Eastern Europe and WTFs from Spain. How we cannot wait for the next attempt to conquer the world from Italy. And how we cannot wait to start satirizing about the people’s democratic republic of Israel! Continue reading

Thank you for the party and here be the awards of the Norwegian jury

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Dressing up and cheering like crazy for Norway in the press center when there are hundreds of journalists present. Always the best way to get ourselves on TV. PIc by TV 2
This day was inevitable: Eurovision is over. Lisbon has gone South. We have started wearing cotton again, our hair is all flat, we haven’t been interviewed by a single journalist for 24 hours, we listened to music that was not representing a country, we read a newspaper article that wasn’t about a country’s contestant in Eurovision and there is not a dishy head of press in sight to provide us with lovely boys to chat with.
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What we noticed in the jury final for the grand final 2018

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We hate to be stating the obvious, but you are finished. Don’t you know vampires should stay away from the sun? (pic by Thomas Hanses/EBU)

Yay, we are at the press center watching the jury final before tomorrow’s Grand Final. This is, as many of you know, the dress rehearsal with a live audience upon which all the juries votes for tomorrow are based, so it matters a lot how the artists are doing at this very moment. Fuckups have been known to happen before and we have been known to report them. This is what we noticed: Continue reading

The Big 5 + Portugal Reviews 2018

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– Hey, Ermal, the GEE ladies are to the left. (Photo by: Andres Putting/EBU)

The Big 5 are looking quite strong this year, well except from the UK and Spain obviously. Quite unexpectedly we do not think that neither Spain nor Germany will finish last this year, so it’s awfully nice of the UK to take over. Here’s our Big 5 and host country’s reviews nicely lined up for you: Continue reading

Interview: AWS about Norwegian metal, being an eagle and the connection between life and death. Plus a comment from Norway that is not about Rybak at all

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Earlier this year we hardly believed our slightly challenged ear drums: Hungary had picked a metal band to represent them in Eurovision? And they even had a key change?

Being from the country that invented metal, we needed a chat, of course. A sunny afternoon in Lisbon, we rushed out of being interviewed by some Norwegian media and they rushed out of hair and make-up ahead of the dress rehearsal and we managed to meet half way between the press center and the venue with a very stricked, armed Portuguese guard looking over our shoulders. Continue reading

Our 10 favorites in the second semi-final 2018

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Could this be the new Godess of Eurovision? (Photo by: Andres Putting/EBU)

We got 7 out of 10 of our favorites through to the Grand Final. Let’s see if we can beat that tonight! We had a big row at Hard Rock Cafe last night to settle on a list, the fanboys next to us looked a little scared. Turns out we have changed our minds about a few since we wrote the reviews, click on the links see which ones. Continue reading

What we noticed in the dress rehearsal for the second semi-final

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As the actual jury final tonight interrupts with our busy party schedule we watched the second dress rehearsal from the arena. Here’s what we noticed!

– Lord Jon Ola Sand, give me the votes to win again! (Photo by: Andres Putting/EBU)

Norway: The fact that Alex is currently third in the press center poll where everybody hates his song with passion tells us that he’s in with a pretty good shot at winning the whole shebang. Continue reading

Our 10 Favorites in the First Semi-Final 2018

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Clearly someone forgot to read the list of prohibited items in the arena. (pic by Andres Putting/EBU)

Hurrah! The day of the first semi-final is finally here, and it’s time for us to pick our 10 favorites. This is by no means a proper prediction, it’s the ten songs we would like to see go through to the Grand Final. And the best of luck to those who are trying to predict anything tonight, it will be carnage. As usual you can read our reviews by clicking on the links below. Enjoy the show tonight! Continue reading

Our night: everlasting music school, lovely ambassadors, jury final and disco partisani

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So, surprise, surprise, yesterday was also fun:


We woke up in sunny Mouraria, our new favourite part of Lisbon, apart from when the church bells are ringing. We worked real hard at our regular jobs for a few hours, while playing Philip Kirkorov’s “disco partisani” on repeat. Then we went to Metropolitana Music school, where Alexander Rybak was teaching the Eurovision stars of tomorrow to smile while playing. We figured he should have had a class for several of the Eurovision stars of today also. Like Netta or the Armenian bloke. Continue reading